Find Your 3
You Were Never Ment to Continue the Mission Alone.
One above. One beside. One below.
Every man needs relationships that help him become who God is calling him to be.
Find one man above you who can sharpen you, one brother beside you who will walk with you, and one man below you whom you can intentionally invest in.
You don’t need three perfect relationships. Start with the men God has already placed around you.
PRAY • IDENTIFY • REACH OUT • BEGIN
THE BROTHERHOOD GAP
Who Knows the Real Condition of Your Soul?
A man can be surrounded by people and still be walking alone.
You can have employees, clients, friends, church relationships, hundreds of contacts in your phone—and still have very few men who know where you’re strong, where you’re tired, where you’re tempted, and where God is calling you forward.
Brotherhood doesn’t happen by accident. It requires intentional pursuit.
01
WISDOM
I have a man I can learn from.
Someone with permission to challenge my thinking and help me see what I cannot see.
02
BROTHERHOOD
I have a man who really knows me.
Someone with whom I can be honest about faith, family, leadership, pressure, temptation, and mission.
03
MULTIPLICATION
I am intentionally investing in another man.
Someone I am encouraging, strengthening, discipling, mentoring, or helping move forward.
If one of these relationships is missing, you've just discovered where to begin.
FIND YOUR 3
Above. Beside. Below.
Three intentional relationships that help a man grow, stay grounded, and multiply what God is forming in him.
↑ ABOVE
A man who sharpens you.
Someone whose character, faith, wisdom, or experience can help you grow.
He doesn’t need to have everything figured out. He simply needs to be further down the road in an area where you need wisdom—and close enough to know you.
Question:
Who can help me see what I cannot see?
↔ BESIDE
A brother who walks with you.
Someone who knows more than your public story.
A brother with whom you can speak honestly, pray specifically, ask hard questions, celebrate victories, confess struggles, and keep moving forward.
Question:
Who knows the real condition of my soul?
↓ BELOW
A man you intentionally invest in.
Not someone beneath you.
Someone God may be calling you to strengthen with what He has already entrusted to you—your experience, testimony, wisdom, encouragement, presence, and faith.
Question:
Who could be stronger because I intentionally invested in him?
This isn’t about filling three positions. It’s about building intentional relationships.
YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT
Find Your 3
Don’t overcomplicate this.
You don’t need three perfect relationships. Take a moment, ask God to bring specific men to mind, and start with the men He has already placed around you.
Don’t ask, “Who should these men ideally be?” Ask, “Who has God already placed around me?”
Who could sharpen you?
A man you can learn from.
Think about men you already know who demonstrate something you want to develop—spiritual maturity, marriage, leadership, character, business wisdom, fatherhood, discipline, courage, or mission.
Don't worry yet about whether he will say yes. Just identify the man.
Who could walk with you?
A brother who can really know you.
Think about a man you respect who is in a similar season of life and with whom you could build genuine, honest brotherhood. Someone you could pray with, speak truth with, and refuse to drift with.
Who could you invest in?
A man you can strengthen.
Think about a man God may be calling you to encourage, strengthen, disciple, mentor, or simply walk alongside. You don't need all the answers. You need willingness to invest.
Your answers stay on this page. Nothing you enter here is submitted or stored.
TAKE ONE FAITHFUL STEP
You've Got the Names. Now Choose One.
You don’t need to activate all three relationships today.
Choose one man. Send the text. Make the call. Schedule the coffee.
Momentum often begins with one courageous message.
Not sure what to say? Start here.
Ask for wisdom.
Invite brotherhood.
Offer encouragement.
DON'T STOP AT THE INTRODUCTION
From a Message to a Relationship.
Finding your three isn’t about collecting names or scheduling three coffees. It’s about intentionally developing relationships over time.
You don’t need to force the outcome. Take the next faithful step and let trust grow through consistency.
01
PRAY
Ask God to bring the right men to mind.
Pray for discernment—not simply convenience, status, or chemistry.
02
IDENTIFY
Recognize the men God has already placed around you.
Above. Beside. Below. Start with real relationships, not ideal ones.
03
REACH OUT
Contact one man.
Send the text. Make the call. Take responsibility for initiating.
04
ASK
Invite him into a conversation—not a commitment.
Coffee first. Listen. Ask questions. Tell the truth. See what God does.
05
BEGIN
Build a simple rhythm.
Meet again. Pray together. Open Scripture. Ask harder questions. Show up consistently.
Brotherhood is rarely built in one big moment. It is forged through repeated small acts of presence, truth, courage, and faithfulness.
FINDING YOUR 3 IS ONLY THE BEGINNING
Build the Kind of Brotherhood That Holds.
Find Your 3 identifies the relationships.
SEALED describes the kind of brotherhood you’re building.
The goal isn’t simply to surround yourself with good men. It’s to become the kind of brother who shows up, speaks truth, receives correction, shares real life, keeps Christ at the center, and stays when things get hard.
S — SUPPORTED
Show up under pressure.
I don’t disappear when a brother’s life gets difficult.
E — ENCOURAGED
Call out what God is forming.
I remind a brother of truth, progress, calling, and who he is becoming in Christ.
A — ACCOUNTABLE
Invite truth and correction.
I give trusted men permission to ask hard questions and challenge what they see.
L — LIFE-ON-LIFE
Share real life, not just information.
I let brothers see beyond the polished version of me.
E — ETERNALLY MINDED
Keep Christ and His mission in view.
I help us remember that success is not the ultimate measure of a faithful life.
D — DEVOTED
Choose consistency over convenience.
I keep showing up. Brotherhood becomes strong because faithfulness becomes normal.
DON’T START BY EVALUATING YOUR THREE.
Are You Becoming the Kind of Brother Another Man Can Trust?
Before asking whether you have the right men around you, ask whether you are becoming the right kind of man around them.
DON'T LEAVE THIS ON THE PAGE
Your 7-Day Mission
You don’t need to build a movement this week.
You need to take one faithful step.
NEED HELP IDENTIFYING YOUR 3?
Sometimes the Right Men Are Closer Than You Think.
You may already know the men—you simply haven’t looked at your relationships through the lens of Above, Beside, and Below.
If you’re having trouble identifying your three, I’ll help you think it through.
Find Your 3 Connection Session
30 minutes • A focused conversation with Chris
We’ll look at the men already in your life, your professional and relational network, where a relationship may be missing, and the next step worth taking.
Where helpful, we can also look at your LinkedIn network together to identify relationships you may have overlooked. If someone in my network seems like a meaningful fit, I may be able to make a warm introduction.
No pitch. No obligation. Just a focused conversation about the men God may already be placing around you.
CONTINUE THE MISSION
Where Do You Go From Here?
You don’t need to do everything today. Choose the next step that fits where you are.
01 — START ON YOUR OWN
Get the Find Your 3 Field Guide
Take the framework with you. Use the guide to pray, identify your three, and begin building intentional brotherhood.
02 — GET SOME HELP
Find Your 3 With Me
If you’re struggling to identify the right men, let’s spend 30 focused minutes looking at your relationships and network together.
03 — GO DEEPER
Build Your SEALED Team
Finding your three is the beginning. Learn how to build brotherhood marked by support, encouragement, accountability, life-on-life relationship, eternal purpose, and devotion.